Drizzy, Jizzy Drake refuses Kanye's offer to remake the sad excuse for a video that Best I Ever Had stands for. Personally I didn't think that titties bouncin like basketballs, and gum smackin hood rat princesses trying to make it translated into the "Best" anyone's ever had. Jizzy said "I just wanted to laugh". If the sinking of your own career, and the sound of booing fans everywhere is funny, then keep up the laughing.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The Vixen Manual: How To Be A Hoe
The Vixen Manual: How To Find, Seduce, & Keep The Man You Want
"The book is broken into five parts, “Being Single,” “How To Attract Him,” “How To Engage Him,” “How To Release Him” and “Maybe It’s You.” Steffans, who is known for her exploits with various rap superstars, also includes an illustrated chapter filled with sexual positions."
I saw this being advertised on the subway and almost threw up....why is this a best seller.. honestly I could write this book.
- Find someone famous
- Drop it like its hot
- And find some poor celebrity to have your bastard
And if all else fails buy the book...
so she can teach you how to give head until your nose bleeds, she's an expert at that.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Now you can smell like Crackwhore AND Flowers!
Amy Winehouse the perfect rolemodel. She is diversely cultured--experienced in meth, crack, and nicotine products. She always strives to look great, judging by her fabolous bristly black hair. She even strives for the best skin care around, judging by the mysterious patch on her leg...TBD at a later date. But now there's MORE! In case you were running out of ways to be JUST like Ms. Overdoses on-Winehouse, then look no further. In case you wanted that dingy crackwhore-ish, methamphetamine, British, haven't washed the hair in weeks smell that Amy wreaks of look no further. She's bottled it up, manufactured it, and should be on the market soon.
Yes ladies and gents, even overrated crackheads can do it too.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A Natural Rest For The Breast
And not to mention the fact that when i hear the word "Kush" I immediately think of something to stuff between my boobies.
All I know is that i'm getting mine in Ebony.
The First Representative of the "Penis" Party
If you've been in Times Square ever, you've seen him strumming out with his sack out. Seriously,you can't make this stuff up. This notoriously naked cowboy, is in the political election for Mayor of NYC. Legit.
"Well, right now this city can’t afford wasteful spending. What we really need is smarter spending".
He goes on to add that he will be able to budget very well because he does not waste money on suits. I mean, DUH. Personally I take that as a sign that if you are on that government cheese, he will have no sympathy if you DARE to conceal those cheeks. America, I would like to introduce you to the first legitimate white nigga.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
ALL NEW BITCHASSNESS
This past Thursday, in England Ne-yo bawled like a baby live on stage. Apparently he was feeling a little bit sick with a bit of faggotitis, and asked the audience to "bear with him" . Sadly only four songs into his Michael Jackson tribute, he got hit with a major Michael Jackson appropriate cry attack, and could not finish his show. If homeboy was smart, he would have just acted like he was doing a remix to one of his whiney songs, who would have ever known the difference?
Really though BET
I saw the commercial.... and I was confused, what is this about and who is this and why should i listen to her and some other chick for a half an hour.
I Don't Want To Lick A Damn Thing Khia
Khia, the song titled: My Neck My Back (Lick It) itself set our people back a couple of steps....as great as it is
but this picture kicked us back a couple of leaps.
Sadly, I jam to her shit and laugh at her ghett-osity.... so you do your thang and I'll sit here peeing myself.
Keyshia Coles "The Same Her"
Ironically Keyshia Coles album is named "A Different Me" but it is the same old whiney shit she usually sings about. You hate love what it does to you and everything that makes you happy.....WE GET IT. I have an idea, her and Ne-Yo should make a duet and it literally might leave you wanting to kill yourself, if not from the sappy "why does love hurt" feel but the 5 minutes of ohhh ahhh ushhhhhhh ugrhhh hughhhh ughhhhh unpleasant unnecessary unbearable grunts and moans they make instead of "singing" their subpar lyrics.
I do not approve whatsoever.
We Still Love You Drake
Since you are a relatively new artist we'll let this slide but here are a few lessons for your next video:
- Video hoes are not suppose to talk PERIOD unless dubbed over
"I thought i was da best Drake".... not attractive
- As a straight female watching that video I kept thinking to myself if I was a man... or maybe even a lesbian I would still think there was WAYYY too much boob-age for the liking
Bras help win Bball games my mannn
- And THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT YOUR VIDEO ISSSS....
Kanye directs like shit unless it is his own work.
But good news is we still love you.. now just pray I don't hate you because of the radios efforts to shove this song down our throats.
Desperado
Stop pointing to your camel toe take off that tight ass body suit (you know your hot) and go take care of the kid you had when you were practically twelve to get some attention from your baller sister.
But the bitch is PERSISTENT, how many albums has she come out with.... wait you wouldn't know.
But she has something her sister doesn't have, an education past the eight grade..... and (debatably) she looks way better in that suit than her sister would.
Who Needs Sex When You Can Look At It
Maxwell, any time of the day.
Wish he could touch my pre-tay wangs.....
You Should Be Ashamed Latoya
Latoya lets leave the fame grabbing money hungry crazy for your Elmer Fud looking devil child beating father hmmm....
This awful song probably produced under Joe Jacksons awful NEW recording label and I think I just threw up in my mouth a little, a lot.
Not to mention Tito Jackson's new Album as well, which I will not even get into due to my high blood pressure.
And what angers me the most is that people really wonder why MJ was so messed up..... well there you go.
Home my ass.
I Know Why Your So Paranoid Mr. West
That's ALL you Kanye
Did not know that Amber Rose rolled that hard, girl you givin' baldies a BADDDDD rep.
Do You Smell What The Barack Is Lookin (at)
My Nigga Hussein Ba-Rockin' Dem Sheets Ho-Bama still got it
But in all seriousness its some form of flattery or some shit in italy to look at asses... the man is black, and who would cheat on Michelle Obama shes so damn fly.... not to mention she would tear that ass up.
Christina Milan "Chameleon"
Despite the fact that I have never even heard this song and the fact that the day when I am forced to listen to this shit I guarantee I will not like it (even thought dip it low was a form of genius), it makes me a tad bit upset this chick decided to put her name on anything even closely related to the word "Chameleon" and the fact that she is with the dream to ella her way to the bank..... or to her next album, Elope, ironically set to release in winter because it will be a cold day in hell when I posses in my itunes library her 90th comeback single without some limewire, if its even worth that, not highly recommended in what so ever.
BROWNIE ALERT!!!
A bitch did what she had to do and if she gets some sales off of this shit she loosely calls music then two thumbs way up sister.
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