Nick Cannon Bombed: Nick Cannon Response Unfortunate Sounding ?RAP?

SORRY THIS IS LENGTHY BUT IT'S WORTH IT.
In retaliation to Eminem's retaliation on Mariah Carey's Diss on Eminem's comment....
Let me explain that again....
Mariah tried to be a drama queen as she normally is and tried to call out Eminem in her radio raped song Obsessed, and in responce to that Eminem RIPPED on Mariah in the song The Warning (which was sheer genius). He went into details of their sex life like premature ejaculation on the Drama Queen's stomach and how the "slut bitch cunt that made me put up with her physcho ass over 6 months and only spread her legs to let me hit once" was by no means one to "obsess" over.
^In the video above^ which does not even have a name or is produced (because it's Nick Cannon) is in response to Eminem's DOMINATION.

NICK CANNON IS SHIT....

He is clearly not a rapper or yelping overrated singer so why did he come out with a (currently) untitled song about defending he clearly triflin wife. I get that he was trying to defend his own since he was BRUTALLY (and rightfully) RAPED in Eminem's song... but he just was not catchy, good, and instead of making me want to rag on Eminem like a responce song should, it made me want to rag more on Nick because I realized he sucks more than I thought.

And the worst part is....

He even had the audacity to mention his failed and (should be canceled) forgotten about unfunny ass show "get served from an episode of Whilin' Out".

E=MC (Served)

Source: ALISON MCLOVIN

Wait, Only One of These Williams is Waxed?

I bet you had to take a second glance to figure it out. Serena Williams shows off her new wax like exterior, while standing next to something actually constructed of wax. As a black woman there's no excuse to be ashy, ever. However there is also no excuse to ever go to the other extreme and dive into a bucket of Vaseline before public appearances. So kudos to the Wax Museum for reincarnating the greased down presence of Serena perfectly. But I blame the recession for them clearly not making her as brolic and buffed as she truly is. 

Image: Concrete Loop 

......This is Why I Deleted My Myspace

.......This is why I deleted My MySpace


Want to avoid that awkward conversation altogether, just direct them right to the good stuff.

Your welcome.

CBreezy's Form of Community Service

CHRIS BROWN IS IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW AGAIN.

The night of his sentencing for fucking up ReRe (RiRi) he was spotted at a night club in West Hollywood at the illegal age of 20. He was even seen going to the mike drunk and paying tribute to the late Michael Jackson and there are various pictures of him par-taying it up.

JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE FAMOUS DOSENT MEAN YOU CAN BREAK THE LAW.

What dont celebrities get, especially if your not a well liked celebrity, if you do stupid shit... people will LOVE bustin your chops. Paris Hilton is a skinny rich white girl and she went to jail for having one too many and getting into her Bently.... your a young black Hip Hop artist who beat his chick and underage drank, what makes you think they are going to spare you.

This is the L.A.P.D. we are talking about, they live for this shit.

I would even feel the least bit sad for him if he was discretely partying or went in to have a beer in celebration of not going to prison, but homie is clapping and dancing with women (watch out ladies) going up to the mike and wearing this big ass yellow heart... maybe since he does not have one inside, he'll wear one outside.

Hey CBreezy,

With that high voice your going to make a GREAT bitch in prison.

Cite: Bossip

Black People DO NOT Belong On Cartoon Network

Bobb'e J. Thompson is the host of this new home video show on cartoon network named "Bobb'e Says". You form your own opinion about the show but i think this negro needs a stern talking to. I've never seen a more stereotypical black child in my life. watch him preach on why the cold is bad...

What makes it worse is that his name is Bobb'E. His parents took a simple name like bobby and made it ghetto by removing the Y and by adding an apostrophe and the letter e. Tsk Tsk Tsk

In this second one he talks about the dangers of Karate and how giving up isn't a bad thing...

"Look, I know the rule says that if at first you dont succeed, try and try again, but heres what Bobb'e says, Stop Tryin"

"Life is full of surprises, and you have got to be prepared..so guess what? Watching stupid stuff can actually make you smart... so pay attention, this, is Bobb'e Says"

....................REJECTION!!!

When i think of those affiliated with Michael Jackson, the LAST person that comes to mind is dark ol' Flava Flav. They're completely opposite... Smooth feminine voice vs. Low raspy voice, Straight greasy hair vs. Short nappy mess, Into little children vs. Into prostitutes, Casper white vs. Charcoal black...As different as they seem, Flava Flav claimed they were "Tight" when he came to the Jackson home to pay his respects for Michael's death several nights ago. As kindhearted as this seems, the rest of the Jackson 5 couldn't have been more cold blooded than to reject the human Ashtray at their doorstep. DENIED!!!!!

[Ring Doorbell]

Flava Flav: Hello there Mrs. Jackson, my condolences, is there anything i can do to help out you and the fami-

Mama Jackson: No, Fuck you, Go Away

[Slam Door]

Flava Flav: Wwwwwwooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww

Can't Take the Hood Out of the Housewife

ATTENTION: 

The video above is an unfortunate display of Atlanta's Hood Boogas. One being the fallen American Idol, Fantasia, and the other nobody--Kandi from the Really Ghetto Housewives of Atlanta. The mission of this video is to show ladies "what to do for their man" , while remaining classy enough to apologize to their mama's and the Lord Jesus for their sinful bodacious booty bouncin festivities-- even though Kandi was displaying what she learned in "Stripper Classes". The shaking starts around [1.52]

After this video hit the Chitlin' Circuit of Negroes everywhere, and YouTube, Fantasia's manager was outraged because they 'didn't thin it was a good look, or marketable'. However if Tasia still does have some fans out there, they're hoodboogers too and this is right up their alley. In the words of Fanny-tasia 'Keep shakin that thing yall'. 

Jason Biggs...Gibraltar...Malicious Apes...Whaa?

Personally, i think Jason Biggs is a bomb-ass actor. Hes funny [American Pie = Classic] and has done about 10 movies in the past 4 years. Though i think he's great, apparently, not everyone agrees with me. Specifically primates. While chillin with American Pie Co-Star Eddie Kaye Thomas in......Gibraltar?.....a Barbary Ape got heated and pulled a Mike Tyson by jumping on Jason from behind and trying to gnaw his face off... yes you read correctly, an ape attacked Jason Biggs...=/

Problem #1: Who the fuck goes to Gibraltar? like seriously... You dont hear people like "Spring break? oh im bout to go to Gibraltar, you know... probly wrestle some gazettes, maybe scoop a lemur or so.. no big deal."NO THAT DOESNT HAPPEN

Problem #2: If you see a monkey nearby, why would you continue to go in that direction? I dont fuck with monkeys, scratch that, i don't even fuck with bunny rabbits. i just keep my distance and let them be. 

Amen #1: how Jason gets attacked by a monkey and survives with no serious injuries and no strange diseases [AIDS god forbid] ... straight miracle

Amen #2: Thanks to the homies. Eddie Kaye Thomas is the one who removed the monkey, saving Jason's life.

Handcuffs Don't Scare Hoes..

Lady Got-Got, for indecent exposure in Russia.. well almost. The nearly naked lad has been flashing too much flesh in the past month. The first time, she was caught in Chicago with some booty choking hot pants, and let off with a mere warning. Then this second time in Russia, she was also let off with a warning. Clearly notorious naked parades cannot be stopped simply because you can't hault a ho..

"It's not that I don't like pants. I just choose not to wear them some days. I think no pants is SEXY. I love the naked human body. I was working in strip clubs when I was 18"- Lady Gaga

Smh, she's nothing but a singing street walker about to be in the slammer. 

Gay Hearted

This is probably the best movie Rebecca Gayheart is in / will ever be in. 

She is seen ^here^ in a threesome sex tape with her "oh yeah that guy looks familiar" actor husband Eric Dane and some nobody chick. 

Heres the thing, if people are going to make sex tapes and clearly leak them for publicity can we at least own up to it cause i would give someone mad props if they said, "yea i had sex on tape to get attention, and i got attention". 

But the sad part is... this video is not getting that much attention. 

Maybe next time Gayheart

Confucius Confused

I know this is late but if anyone has yet to see this, they need to. 

Dont worry its normal to watch this over and over and over and over again because trust me, you wont get it. 

Your Welcome. 

Oh Hell To The No Whitney

This hot ghetto "formerly" crack whore mess was spotted in Newark International Airport.

Its bad enough shes from dirty jerz but the fact that shes back to visit is appalling. 

What happened to getting yourself together Whit, Give your pimp back his kid (girl in the netted shirt) and fix whatever is wrong with your life right now... because its a major problem when Bobby Browns little girl looks more composed (and has better hair) than you. 

On the bright side she was at the airport which means shes getting out of the garden state, i dont know why she was here in the first place. 

Source: Bossip.com 

Snoop Doggs His Wedding Vows

Snoop Parties it up in France. I wonder what his wife Shante will have to say about this, because lord knows with a name like that she don't play this shit. Snoop is a regular old greased down made it up out the hood black person, so knowing him he slipped something in the vows like : 'Through Sickness and in health, and till death (or a fine ass brazillian broad) does us part.' 

I mean clearly this broad has good taste, who wouldn't be attracted to that monstrosity of a forehead, or maybe it was the smell of Ultra Sheen all through that kindergarden esque pony-braid tail get up. Might as well live it up in France.. Parlez-vous divorceee anyone?

The Newest Additon to Twilight

The 'Lad' Gaga was not leaving a theme party, or a vampire convention, or an exorcism, homegirl was headed to the airport with full intentions of proving that she was not packing a pee-pee. Katy Perry belives that the alleged 'Penis Packer' Lady Gaga, actually made it all up, that she played along with it as well: “It’s all very calculated. She knows what she’s doing. She put something in her knickers, a mini strap-on (sex toy). Bless her if she does have a d**k, but I am certain she doesn’t.” 

So, the Lad turns back into a Lady, and she is no longer packing her panties, but she's packing something else. See below.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Presenting : Lady GaGot-a-Donk. Lord only knows why its out in baggage claim. 

Cite: Daily Mirror 

Untitled?..Unecessary Rather...

R. Kelly is getting ready to drop his new album titled 'Untitled'. But if it's titled 'Untitled', then it has a title, confusion. Or, it could be more like it's actually untitled because no one really cares, and Mr. Kelly knows that, so why bother and name an album?

"I'm trying to get back up on that mountain and roar like the lion king"-- (The "R" stands for Ridiculous. Kelly)

Personally I think he needs to aim way lower than the mountain, try the top of the jungle gym in a local playground--he seems to work well with underaged beings. 

This CD features tracks such as 

"Fallen From the Sky" -- and then crashing, like his career 

"Pregnant"-- With the help of Viagra 

and "Echo"-- as in that's what the stadium will be doing on your upcoming tour Mr. Kelly.  

Run this Town's ASS Video Leak!!!

Watch Run This Town Video Here!!!

There are a couple points in this video that I would like to cover: 

1. Why is Kanye so full of himself. 

"next time in church please no photos" Kanye no one wants to take a picture of you... or your bald headed bitch Amber Rose and you know you don't go to no damn church cause if you did you would be right up there with the preacher thinking you run EVERYTHING. 

2. Rihanna sucks. 

Why are you wearing that stupid ass emo KKK sweater that covers everything except for your eyes.... im sorry gurl is it to hide the bruises Ike put on you? 

Not to mention the fact that you have the worst lines in the song AND your hyena yelps and moans you make sound like CBrezzy is goin in on a round two. 

3. CelebZoo is a Pro Jay-Z cite.  

4. Why was there so much hype for this video to come out.. the songs not that great

Apologizes: 

The video I did have was removed due to infringement but the link above will show you the music video 

Mucho Love 

Grounds Keeper Willie 

She Be Rockin' Black Babies Like..

Rockin 'em like bling that is... Accompanying Macdonna on her mino boat parade is her new boy toy Jesus Luz, who swam over from Mexico recently and she graciously picked him up in that there boat. He is the newest addition to her assortment of stolen minority goods that she refers to as "Family". When Madonna travels it's like why buy a keychain as memorabilia, when I can steal oops I mean adopt some kids, and start my own Feed the Children Ad from my living room?

But seriously though, when the kids get older they're going to have questions. You don't have to take genetics to know that Mama-donna isn't biologically theirs. What happens when they want Mama Africa? What happens when the negro naps come in? Madonna's gonna have to call for back up, cause someone's going to have to tell them to put on lotion. 

I'd Feel a Little Salty if I was Pepa Right Now

Sandy 'Pepa" Denton must be smacking herself in the face right now... or I'll do it for her. Apparently Smithy (higly paid actor Will Smith that is) was turned down by the canceled reality show on BET co-star back in the day for being "too corny". 

So he was "too corny" and now hes "too rich" now your "too washed up" for anyone "too care" 

Big dumb dummy. 

Statutory Divas

At a sound check for one of The Jonas Brothers upcoming concerts, Joe Jonas to commemorate his 20th birthday and his very apparent homosexuality wore a dress.. I mean cake made out of satin with a sequin bust and to top it off with a sash.

So let me get this straight Disney, 5 year olds are jerking off to the sounds of a 20 year and his prepubescent sounding brothers while wearing a dress. 

God Bless America. 

Ruben "Stuffard".. Nuff Said

Ruben Studdard, all 5092 lbs of him crawled out of the hole he was hiding in (because it was getting a little tight down there), and was spotted in D.C this past week. This picture was taken right after his most recent accomplishment, which was tieing for first place with the Green-Giant for the Hulk look alike contest. Ruben was just hanging out before his jail sentencing because everybody knows he stole that bag and ran--not literally speaking of course. Or if he really did spend his life savings to buy it, I'd like to welcome you to Mr. Studdard's home.  

I think we can agree that Ruben's new diet of pork and sugar has been truly beneficial to his image. I think his new image says "I weigh more than the total of album's I will ever sell", and I think it's working for him. 

Is This How We Run the Town?

On set for the video 'Run This Town', directed by Anthony Mandler.  

Q: "Who's Gonna Run This Town Tonight?"

A: New breed of KKK much?

"If You Like it Rough"

Pretty Ricky elaborated on their groupie inspired sex-adventures, as if their songs "Grind On Me", "Juicy", "Up and Down", and "Late Night Special", or their freakish "I'm gon lick you down" demeanor weren't enough. Pretty Ricky (the updated and busted edition), had an interview recently with Freddyo.com. They did what they did best and talked about sex, and put each others sexcapades on BLAST. Here's a list (inspired by the video), of why Pretty Ricky a.k.a. the "P*ssy Beaters" are the most composed group of Young Afro-American men around. 

1. They unanimously decided to go from the "P*ssy Eaters" to the "P*ssy Beaters", a much more straightforward yet powerful and proud name. 

2. They clearly love to please their fans,

Sexcapade 1:  "Why you put a condom on the microphone and put it up tha girl coochie in Jacksonville", 'Because she wanted me to'. 

Sexcapade 2: "Why you get yo (ding dong), sucked on stage in Jacksonville?" 'Because yall atin't stop me'. Clearly these young men truly care about the needs of their fans. 

3. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday 10 p.m (that's eastern time) they're live streaming on their website. Every night they're on the air, at 10 pm Spectacular bathes NAKED at PrettyRicky.com. This puts him up their with the classiest of stars like Paris Hilton, Ray-Jizz, and other F-List celebrities who proudly parade their packages and poonani's all across cyberspace. 

Just in case you were wildly inspired by their interview, or freakishly and questionably turned on, their album drops November 17th and they're packing "12 inches of straight vinyl, straight like that.." Smh. 

 

Décalé Gwada Done Right By White

Work it. 

Give It Up Christina

"It" is dead, It died along with bring it on Again and there was no hope for revival once Solange was thrown into the mix with "in it to win it". 

This piece of shit is going to be in theaters... i mean go straight to DVD september 1st if anyone cares to run into blockbuster and spend the most useless five dollars of your life or wait until its on ABC Family as they edit out the word bitch and replace it "discretely" with the word witch. 

This is also another chance for Christina Milian prance around in a skimpy outfit while drawing some attention to her sucky new album that no one will care about either. 

 

THIS IS NOT OKAY

Okay not only is she a fetus but shes workin it harder than most girls my age, not only to mention the fact that the BOY she is with is lost as fuck.

See this shows that age does become wisdom, cause when shes older she'll figure out if a boy dont know how to dance... its time to bounce and not reposition yourself like a fool. 

Damn Shame. 

Cite: whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A KID

SMH

NONE of this..

whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com

cite: Bumni Ride or die bitch 

Texas Hold'em

Apparently everything is bigger in Texas, early this month 500 pound inmate George Vera who was originally in jail for illegal copies of compact discs is now charged with possesion when he managed to hide a 9mm pistol in one of his many rolls of fat. 

Okay not only is this man fat but hes not so sharp either (clearly), homie was in jail for bootleggin and now hes going to STAY in jail for a worse crime than what put him there. We've all heard off people putting knives and drugs and what not um your butt to hide it when your being cavity searched, but theres a problem when someone putting something up your ass has more dignity than what you have done, and your crime will now lead you to SEVERAL unneccessary very invasive cavity searches that even the person doing it will have to come up for air. 

The worse part is that THEY SEARCHED HIM 3 TIMES they didnt even find the gun he had to admit he had it to stop all those people touchin his junk, and lower in the article it said he hid the gun in his fat while he showered...

"Three separate body searches failed to locate 9mm pistol, officials say"

Damn Shame.  

Disney Likes 'Em Dirty

The Teen Choice Awards were giving a tribute to mediocre whoreishness at their recent awards ceremony. Miley "Sucks at Life" Cyrus, kicked off the ho-show segment with a pitiful pole dance, and later Britney Spears given the lifetime achievement award....ponder that. Fox Network is clearly giving high hopes to their young tween audience: If you have vomit vocals, To' up weaves, and the constant yearning to put your vag on display then you too can work for Disney. It's Disney's new right of passage, you have to put your cooch out there on a national level otherwise your contract gets terminated. Why do you think Raven got dumped?

Whatever, Walt would be proud. 

Because Skecher's Weren't Ugly Enough..

Skecher's, the hottest shoe on every one's "It" List has come out with a shoe that not only screams "I am a 67 year old with orthopedic problems", but it makes you lose weight too. By temporarily putting you off balance, with each step the Shape-Up's improve posture, strengths backs, firms booty muscles, reduces cellulite, tones thighs, firms calf muscles, tightens that flab on the abs, and improves blood circulation, all while adding about 3 inches of "cool" to your legs, and 304 pounds to your body mass. ALL FOR ONE LOW PRICE OF $110. There's nothing more I could think of that I would want to do with 110 bucks than buy the "limited supplied" Shape-Ups. 

My thing is, if you're fat, or in nicer terms "horizontally gifted", then what difference would shoes that make you lose weight when you WALK in them, if they're clearly not moving much past the Drive-Thru in the first place. Maybe I'm just hating, because this is the hottest shoe I've seen since the Croc...smfh. 

Really Though Duane Reade

I know this has nothing to do with celebrities but this is clearly zoo material. Im so glad duane reade finally answered the question that all the minorities in the 5 bouroughs were asking "where do i find all the items that me and my race need", this aisle includes:

- Vasaline

- Hair Grease

- CoCo Butter / CoCo Butter Lotion

- Jam

- Pregnancy Tests

- Blistex

- XXL Condoms

- Vibe, Ebony, and, Jet

Im just mad it didnt say "Ethnic Hair Care" or something along those lines.. on my way to work if im looking for some african cloth and rice and beans in tin foil I know where to go.

Ignorance.

Wringleys Chris Browned That Bitch

Even though Wringley's waited until Ike Turners Guilty Plea from February friday night smack down , they decided to chris brown his contract and "beat it to the curb". I mean even though im not ReRe's (as in retard) biggest fan cause her music gets on my nerves and her videos are all types of ass, but im not comfortable having little boys watching TV as chris brown smacks on some gum then goes home and starts smakin on his girl.... and think thats okay.

Wringley's gum is shit... juicy long lasting my ass, so this is the best decision Wringley's has come up with in years.

And if he does not learn anything and he stays at wife beater, then at least the termination of his contract will take that stupid ass smile off his face.

This Chick Looks Sick, Take A ride on her Disco Stick

The Infamous Lad Gaga was spotted after leaving an aspiring "Prostitutes of Tomorrow Convention" recently. Apparently, if your weave is jacked up enough, they give you a weeks worth of Hoe-Gear for free! They were so impressed by her, his?..its attempt to contain its package that they asked her to host the upcoming new reality competition, "So.. you think you're a SLUT?". Details coming soon. 

But in the meantime, those of you who have been dying to literally take a ride on her "Disco Stick", your day has come. At a recent concert Lady Ga-Got a Penis' Wang got some wind. Peep the package below.. 

Mr. Potato Head Look-Alike Contest

First Z-List Celebrity Cassie does it, and we get over it because she "got that GOOD Hurr" and it will come back . 

Then right behind her is VH1 Jumpoff Lala, and no one cares because... who is she again? 

NOW it's the Crackhead Formerly Known has Keyshia Cole.

 Personally, I didn't think that it was an okay thing to go to the Hair Salon with aspirations of becoming Mr. Potato head. I thought one was supposed to avoid the aging process of balding. To me, bald says: "Hi, I'm old, my life will soon be over, and shortly I will be six feet under or a pile of ashes in an vase." I guess their hairstyles are supposed to be synonymous with their careers. 

Oh yes, Celebzoo, we take it there. 

“Fuck Jay-Z”

So apparently there is some unnecessary "beef" in that little region not world but small governed county of some country no one cares about of Hip-Hop where The Game lives and him and his 3 fans chant "Fuck Jay-Z" at his shows (notice I did not write concert). Not to mention the fact he is saying that Jay-Z is old and washed out. But riddle me this, this man must have some OD swagg if he can have Beyonce as ancient as he is. Everyone knows hes old... but hes got a couple foot tappers left in him I think, keep grandpa busy. But the key thing is, Jay-Z HAS a career to get old, what are you doing where did you come from and nobody cares. Go rap about the streets, cause you still there you know you ain't gettin paid.

SMH, eternally

I don't know which is worse, the ignant music in the backrgound, provided by the renowned and very classy hood star "Ms. Porsh". Or the random assortment of jiggaboos found locally at a hood near you. 

They're Not Celebs, But Welcome to the Zoo.

Drake Takes it Downnnn

Poor guy. Let the video speak for itself.

Tits for Tots

Bebé Glotón, is the first legitimate breast suckling baby on the market. Manufactured in Spain it is designed to teach kids at young ages that breastessess were designed to be treated like Slurpees. Basically, you strap on the halter, that has a flower where the nipples go, and then bam Bebé Glotón gets down to business.

 The name "Bebé Glotón", directly translates into "Baby Glutton", which means: Baby that is an excessively fond of something, or eager. This is great! Because just what we needed was to teach kids that at a young age we need to be excessively fond of Ta-tas, and don't forget eager too. 

Elephant Hunting In Atlanta

We all know Ne-Yo has troubles with love... what we did not know is that this love had close relations with that bootay. He was seen "kickin it " with this lane bryant chick that whole evening. I mean me being a woman im not turned on by women or their "trunk" but i dont think I would touch a girl with more craters than the moon even if her ass was out of this world. Ne-Yo is a celebrity with a clear problem that needs fixin, get Karinne on his whiney ass.

But im going to stop, listening to that mans album ill give him a break, boy has been hurt..... and maybe with some lovin he can stop whatever mess hes shitting out in the recording studio.

Or at least stop lickin his lips like a retard.

Deli-Line Disaster

Technically she got it her way, and her way was free. 50 year-old Maria (even though at first glance it's Mario) Magobet ordered a meat and cheese, ate it, and ran away. When found, police saw her chewing the "evidence". Best part, when homegirl was found, she had nothing but a pickle in hand, and clearly MAD evidence on those lips. I don't really understand how she is still the "alleged" victim in this hoagie hostage situation. Motive for the crime? Everyone knows, Marijuana was the Motive that Made Mario Magobet Manhandle that Meat. She was charged with theft, and ATTEMPTED theft. But clearly the theft was a success, i mean she still has leftovers...