Handcuffs Don't Scare Hoes..

Lady Got-Got, for indecent exposure in Russia.. well almost. The nearly naked lad has been flashing too much flesh in the past month. The first time, she was caught in Chicago with some booty choking hot pants, and let off with a mere warning. Then this second time in Russia, she was also let off with a warning. Clearly notorious naked parades cannot be stopped simply because you can't hault a ho..

"It's not that I don't like pants. I just choose not to wear them some days. I think no pants is SEXY. I love the naked human body. I was working in strip clubs when I was 18"- Lady Gaga

Smh, she's nothing but a singing street walker about to be in the slammer. 

Untitled?..Unecessary Rather...

R. Kelly is getting ready to drop his new album titled 'Untitled'. But if it's titled 'Untitled', then it has a title, confusion. Or, it could be more like it's actually untitled because no one really cares, and Mr. Kelly knows that, so why bother and name an album?

"I'm trying to get back up on that mountain and roar like the lion king"-- (The "R" stands for Ridiculous. Kelly)

Personally I think he needs to aim way lower than the mountain, try the top of the jungle gym in a local playground--he seems to work well with underaged beings. 

This CD features tracks such as 

"Fallen From the Sky" -- and then crashing, like his career 

"Pregnant"-- With the help of Viagra 

and "Echo"-- as in that's what the stadium will be doing on your upcoming tour Mr. Kelly.  

Is This How We Run the Town?

On set for the video 'Run This Town', directed by Anthony Mandler.  

Q: "Who's Gonna Run This Town Tonight?"

A: New breed of KKK much?

Disney Likes 'Em Dirty

The Teen Choice Awards were giving a tribute to mediocre whoreishness at their recent awards ceremony. Miley "Sucks at Life" Cyrus, kicked off the ho-show segment with a pitiful pole dance, and later Britney Spears given the lifetime achievement award....ponder that. Fox Network is clearly giving high hopes to their young tween audience: If you have vomit vocals, To' up weaves, and the constant yearning to put your vag on display then you too can work for Disney. It's Disney's new right of passage, you have to put your cooch out there on a national level otherwise your contract gets terminated. Why do you think Raven got dumped?

Whatever, Walt would be proud. 

Because Skecher's Weren't Ugly Enough..

Skecher's, the hottest shoe on every one's "It" List has come out with a shoe that not only screams "I am a 67 year old with orthopedic problems", but it makes you lose weight too. By temporarily putting you off balance, with each step the Shape-Up's improve posture, strengths backs, firms booty muscles, reduces cellulite, tones thighs, firms calf muscles, tightens that flab on the abs, and improves blood circulation, all while adding about 3 inches of "cool" to your legs, and 304 pounds to your body mass. ALL FOR ONE LOW PRICE OF $110. There's nothing more I could think of that I would want to do with 110 bucks than buy the "limited supplied" Shape-Ups. 

My thing is, if you're fat, or in nicer terms "horizontally gifted", then what difference would shoes that make you lose weight when you WALK in them, if they're clearly not moving much past the Drive-Thru in the first place. Maybe I'm just hating, because this is the hottest shoe I've seen since the Croc...smfh. 

This Chick Looks Sick, Take A ride on her Disco Stick

The Infamous Lad Gaga was spotted after leaving an aspiring "Prostitutes of Tomorrow Convention" recently. Apparently, if your weave is jacked up enough, they give you a weeks worth of Hoe-Gear for free! They were so impressed by her, his?..its attempt to contain its package that they asked her to host the upcoming new reality competition, "So.. you think you're a SLUT?". Details coming soon. 

But in the meantime, those of you who have been dying to literally take a ride on her "Disco Stick", your day has come. At a recent concert Lady Ga-Got a Penis' Wang got some wind. Peep the package below.. 

Mr. Potato Head Look-Alike Contest

First Z-List Celebrity Cassie does it, and we get over it because she "got that GOOD Hurr" and it will come back . 

Then right behind her is VH1 Jumpoff Lala, and no one cares because... who is she again? 

NOW it's the Crackhead Formerly Known has Keyshia Cole.

 Personally, I didn't think that it was an okay thing to go to the Hair Salon with aspirations of becoming Mr. Potato head. I thought one was supposed to avoid the aging process of balding. To me, bald says: "Hi, I'm old, my life will soon be over, and shortly I will be six feet under or a pile of ashes in an vase." I guess their hairstyles are supposed to be synonymous with their careers. 

Oh yes, Celebzoo, we take it there. 

Deli-Line Disaster

Technically she got it her way, and her way was free. 50 year-old Maria (even though at first glance it's Mario) Magobet ordered a meat and cheese, ate it, and ran away. When found, police saw her chewing the "evidence". Best part, when homegirl was found, she had nothing but a pickle in hand, and clearly MAD evidence on those lips. I don't really understand how she is still the "alleged" victim in this hoagie hostage situation. Motive for the crime? Everyone knows, Marijuana was the Motive that Made Mario Magobet Manhandle that Meat. She was charged with theft, and ATTEMPTED theft. But clearly the theft was a success, i mean she still has leftovers... 

You the fucking WORST

MTV Shows

Drizzy, Jizzy Drake refuses Kanye's offer to remake the sad excuse for a video that Best I Ever Had stands for. Personally I didn't think that titties bouncin like basketballs, and gum smackin hood rat princesses trying to make it translated into the "Best" anyone's ever had. Jizzy said "I just wanted to laugh". If the sinking of your own career, and the sound of booing fans everywhere is funny, then keep up the laughing. 

Now you can smell like Crackwhore AND Flowers!

Amy Winehouse the perfect rolemodel. She is diversely cultured--experienced in meth, crack, and nicotine products. She always strives to look great, judging by her fabolous bristly black hair. She even strives for the best skin care around, judging by the mysterious patch on her leg...TBD at a later date. But now there's MORE! In case you were running out of ways to be JUST like Ms. Overdoses on-Winehouse, then look no further. In case you wanted that dingy crackwhore-ish, methamphetamine, British, haven't washed the hair in weeks smell that Amy wreaks of look no further. She's bottled it up, manufactured it,  and should be on the market soon. 

Yes ladies and gents, even overrated crackheads can do it too. 

The First Representative of the "Penis" Party

If you've been in Times Square ever, you've seen him strumming out with his sack out. Seriously,you can't make this stuff up. This notoriously naked cowboy, is in the political election for Mayor of NYC.  Legit.

"Well, right now this city can’t afford wasteful spending. What we really need is smarter spending". 

He goes on to add that he will be able to budget very well because he does not waste money on suits. I mean, DUH. Personally I take that as a sign that if you are on that government cheese, he will have no sympathy if you DARE to conceal those cheeks. America, I would like to introduce you to the first legitimate white nigga.